Day - 4

My kitchen sink is clean after fixing lunch and breakfast for my family. But, I haven't cleaned the counter or floors yet. Although, the challenge is to cleanup everything after every cooking or meal.
I woke up at 7:45am today. My kid didn't sleep well last night and so did I. so, I was pressing for time this morning. Hopefully, I'll get it done tonight after Im back from GNO.

Day - 3 update

I did it! I was pretty tired after a long day at work. My work day started at 1:30am .. yes AM.
I was in office at 5:45am. So, considering that I did a pretty good job of cleaning up in the kitchen. Counters were sparkly, sink was dry and empty and not forget clean mopped floors.
So, Im impressed with myself. I have two loads of laundry to fold tonight or maybe tomorrow. I have a GNO (Girls night out) tonight. Hopefully, I'll have a good time.

Productive day is what I would call yesterday.

Day 1,2&3 - Clean Kitchen

Past week has been terrible for both me and my kid. We were both sick. I haven't recovered completely yet. Myself and my partner were looking foward to the memorial day weekend for quite sometime now. We were planning lots of fun activities. Only when the weekend came, we wanted to be left alone all three days. But that wasn't the case. We had visitors. It was still fun. We got sometime to rest well during the day too as our friends ventured out on a sightseeing trip.
I lost nearly 12lbs so far only to see me gain back 3lbs this past week alone. I haven't been cooking at home. And the ones I did cook weren't completely health concious. So, obviously I gained weight.
And for the clean kitchen challenge, I haven't been consistent. But, Im not giving up so easily. So, here I am starting it all over.
Day 1&2: May 26,27 - I did a pretty good job cleaning it all up. First couple of days are always the easy ones.

Today is day 3. Will Blog more tonight.

Day - 1

Today is my day -1 of the second monthly challenge. I promised myself that I wouldn't start cooking until I do whatever needs to be done. So, here is my plan tonight:

1. Wash the dishes.
2. Put aways washed dishes.
3. Clean the counter and stove.
4. Mop the floors
And then
5. Start cooking.

I had an awesome upper body workout this morning. It was good. I started at 187.6lbs. So far, I have lost 11lbs! Which is good. But, my scale hasn't budged 176.8lb mark. So, Im hoping for a full throttle workout this weekend.
Here is my plan: Also, planning on starting early, so I have enough time to workout before my kid wakes up.
Saturday:
Jog/Brisk Walk - 45 min.
biking - 15 min.

Sunday:
Jog/Brisk Walk - 45 min.
biking - 30 min.

Will be posting how day-1 one went....!

Second monthly challenge: Clean kitchen counter, sink and floor. May 14 - June 14

I convinced myself, I would be better after my last post. But, that is not happening. I also thought, I would write a post after achieving a sense of accomplishment and that hasn't happened either. So, what is going on? Am I back in downward spiral.
I don't have the same motivation that I had a month ago. I somehow feel like I lost the will along the way. Failing in the second monthly challenge is very nerve-wracking.

So, decided to focus on an easier one as the second monthly challenge. Clean kitchen counter, sink and floors before bed and after cooking in the morning. This is something, I will start tonight.

To-Do:
1. I will be cooking tonight. So, I will remind myself to start with clean counters so, I don't find it difficult after cooking is done.
2. I will be mopping the floors and counters with soap and water tonight after everything is done.
3. I won't be serving dinner before I finish all this. My daughter will be terribly hungry by 8:00pm. So, I better finish cooking, washing, cleaning and mopping before 8:00pm.

I will be updating this post later tonight about how it all went.

Updated to add: Nope... Nothing happened. My husband wanted to go out with the kid for about 1/2 hr. We were back by 7:30pm. Hardly had anytime to cook and just wash rest of the dishes.

Confession time :-(

It always happens to me when I try to do too many things and one fine day, I stop doing everything when it gets too overwhelming. Thatz what happened this week. I stopped waking up early. I stopped having a clean kitchen counters/sink. I stumbled in my healthy eating regime for the last two days. I know, its just for two days, but it is still accounted for something. I left to work in hurry today like I used to a month back. I started watching TV :-(
It seems, as though Im falling back and I don't want to get used to this. Obviously, I stopped blogging for one whole week. Here I am, putting it all in black & white so I don't throw away 6 wks worth of hardwork and discipline.

Here are the good things, Im still doing:
1. made it on time to my personal trainer appointment
2. still continue my exercise routine.
3. still healthy food for my family.

"One thing at a time": Thatz what Im going to do now. Back again to waking up early. I know, I have tried to start it as a monthly challenge for more than three times. But, I cannot give up!

Im hoping to feel a sense of accomplishment by June!!

Feeling good

I have been feeling very positive lately( although things doesn't seem to go well at work).

Here is why:
1. Like mentioned earlier, I have been using all the free time from not watching TV( yes Im continuing it, because I got used to it now... !!) to cook fresh breakfasts and lunches. It also helped put dinner on the table before 7:30pm. I have been consistently eating very healthy and so does my family. I pack atleast 3 fruits a day, whole grain breakfasts/Lunches, toasted unsalted nuts and lots of cooked vegetables. I could see my family is very energetic and enthusiastic. I know for sure, its because of the healthy food.

2. Surprise, I lost 8lbs!! Not because I wanted to. But it just happened. Weight loss has been on my list for SO LONG maybe for past 8 yrs. So, even this small weight loss got me all motivated and the scaled hasn't budged since 8lb mark. So, I decided working out is the only way to go. I know, God acts in mysterious ways. And Intentions do manifest. :-) My partner came to know about a fitness study at a local fitness club and that it needed volunteers. We jumped at the opportunity. It goes on for 21 days with 9 sessions with personal trainers. So far, I have done 2 such sessions with a trainer. But Im free to use the Gym during this study. So, I started out very slow. Now, I have decided to do cardio 3 times a week for 30 min and weights twice a week for 15 min. My husband is doing it along with me so we can motivate each other.

4. I have been punctual lately. :-) I show up to my workouts ON TIME. Sometimes, even 5 min earlier. Reach office at 9:00am. Which is truly amazing. My partner is loving it!! My bad habit of this has been bugging him for years now.. I still have a long way to go to perfect it. But, I see a lot of changes in my schedules which is encouraging!

3. Now regarding my early rising: I still don't wake up at exaclty at 5:00am. But, I think Im getting there. I have been waking up at 5:30am consistently for quite some time now. I also bought a good alarm clock. I know, its not advisable to have cellphones around during sleep. Im going to use the alarm clock instead. So, hopefully tomorrow?

Overall, my mood has been Happy, Positive and Enthusiastic!! ( there is a always a thought in my head that I couldn't get it out: "Why haven't I tried this sooner?" I always find myself reply: "Atleast Im trying it now.... "

Its been a GREAT month so far....What a way to end April, 2009. Life is truly beautiful. Not perfect...! But Hopeful and Beautiful!

"But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."
-"Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" by Robert Frost

Early Rising.

I have been having very tight schedules lately and I couldn't continue my 5:00am monthly challenge. So, I have decided to start fresh again tomorrow.
But, I have been doing a lot better lately with my appointments. I finish all my morning routine before my kids rises. So, I get to spend more time with her. I have been consistently packing healthy lunches and snacks for my family and myself. (This may sound trivial but it is a HUGE deal for me.)
I will be keeping a close tab on this challenge and do everything possible to keep me going.

More soon...

Day 2, 3, 4 5 & 6 - Early Rising,

I had success for three consecutive days. I woke up sharp at 5:00am. But, Sunday Monday and Tuesday were a bit difficult. Once I fell of the wagon and it seems harder than before to get back on track.
Here are the problems I have:
1. I was too excited about waking up early and enjoying the quiet time, I end up waking too early 3:45-4:15am. Then when I force myself to get some sleep for about 1/2 hour, next thing I know its 6:30.
2. My daughter seems to wake up with me. So, I try to help her go back to sleep and I seem to have slept right along with her. Now, I let my partner sleep in between us, so I wouldn't wake her up. But, she seems to find her way to me. :-( Then I realized, she has a light cycle( as in disturbed sleep) around 3-5:00am. Any tiny sound (or light from cell phone) seems to wake her up. So, when my alarm goes off she wakes up. Last friday, she was fully awake when my second alarm went off at 5:30. I usually turn off the second one before it goes off. But this time I was too busy helping her go back to sleep, I forgot all about it. So, she got up along with me. :-( I ended up doing my morning routine, cooking/packing lunches & snacks/ dressing up with her on my side. Which means each task takes twice as long. My mornings turn out to be unproductive. Im still figuring ways out to avoid this situation.
3. For me, weekend doesn't have a routine yet. So, it screws up all my efforts. I managed to be on track on Saturday. But Sunday, I woke up at 7:00! Monday at 6:30 and today at 6:00. It is a gradual improvement but not enough!

Day 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28 - No TV

Sorry, I went "missing" last weekend. Took off last weekend to enjoy the sun!! Finally, it feels like spring! :-)

Giving up TV for a month started out as a difficult one for me. But lately, I got used to not having it part of my routine. I have lots of time in hand. Helps me plan out my weekly and daily routine. I have SO MANY things to-do/improvise, time seem to be too SHORT. Sometimes its overwhelming. I keep telling myself, why haven't I started sooner? Im glad, I did it atleast now. So, here I am moving on the next challenge of "Becoming an Early Riser". It doesn't have the same success as that of "No TV" but Im getting there. First three days were on track. But, weekend seem to throw me off the track. So, Im still learning certain tricks to get in line.

Day 1 - Early rising.

Finally, after several failed tries..... I did it today. I woke up at 5:00am. Yes, really!! Bright and early. I didn't get off the bed until 5:30 though. My kid was up with me. So, I had to help her go back to sleep.
I was doing everything leisurely. But, I have a long way to go to savor the quiet time.
That means, packing lunches the night before. Having an empty kitchen sink and a clean counter to let me enjoy cooking. It takes discipline and focus. For some, its part of what they do. I admire them and I want to be like them. They do everyday chores at ease, like it is done by Habit. I learnt last night( was listening to David Allen's - Getting Things Done) that it takes 2 yrs to learn a habit. So, it'll take 2 yrs from today for early rising to become a habit and with it goes my "No TV", clean kitchen, organized closet: focused office work.. Everything! I didn't learn bad habit overnight. So, I don't expect any change overnight, although I would love to. But, I have to keep myself motivated throughout this PROCESS. How? I read as much as I can, listen to whoever has done this before, talk it with my partner who has seen it all :-) He is my pillar. He knows, Im trying. He seen me fail more than twice. He always encourages me to be better, 'for Im capable of doing it all'. Its his words *not* mine... . He believes in me more than I do. Im truly blessed and thankful in that respect!!

I have just taken the first step of the new monthly challenge: Waking up at 5. Apri 16 - May 16.
I believe that waking up early will open up doors like never before. So, here is to the new challenge...!!

Day 21 & 22 - No TV

Day 21 - I had a slip up and watched Biggest loser. I knew, I shouldn't watching, but I did. Didn't do cleanup after dinner either. Let just say, not exactly I intend the evening to end. :-(

Day 22 - Had a quite productive evening, just the way I wanted. Im very glad, I didn't let the previous slip get me.

Day 19 & 20

So far no TV. I haven't yet started the rising early routine yet.

Day - 18

Im beginning to comprehend the "Power of 30".
Last night, it never occurred to me to turn on the TV. Infact, I NEVER went into the family room to relax. I was catching up with my kid in the kitchen. Started right away with my dinner prep: Whole wheat pasta with beans, broccolli, mushroom, onion and garlic tomato sauce.
Had quiet family dinner. Best part is my kid LOVED it. Thank you dear, you made my day! :-)Washed the rest of the dishes. Packed the leftover dinner for lunch. I sent my kid off for a wash up and change into PJs. Soon, I followed to read couple of her favorite books. She drifted off to sleep in the middle of the 4th.
I sent few prayers heavenwards thanking for my amazing kid and my wonderful partner.

I had fun browsing internet ( drawing inspiration, planning and such sorts) until I was too sleepy to even open my eyes.

Life is good. Truly.

(Not-so)Day 1 - Early rising.

Alarm wasn't set. I didn't even change my day clothes.

All that thinking made me tired and soon fell asleep, I don't know when. :-(

Suddenly woke up with sun shining up high and with the fear of having over-slept: it was 7:00am. I barely had enough time for my morning routine.

So much for the "Early rising challenge". It went up in the air: poof**

Ok. Thursday is NOT good to start anything new. Here are my reasons/excuses: Its almost end of the week. Not to forget its a weekday.

So, I decided to push the start date to this saturday: Apr 11th - May 11th ( monday ).

I hope to survive this challenge... Believe me its been a LONG LONG time since I was a morning person.

Day 17 - No TV

Learnt about a sad news yesterday after reaching home from work. Didn't have the mind to cook and was truly tempted to turn on TV to tune it all out.
But seeing my kid smile, oblivious of the damage done, I could only get on with the routine and that is exactly what I did.

Luckily, I had some leftovers. I made them palatable by giving them some quick make up and a fresh look. Stuck to the basic routine of cleanups and bedtime ritual.

Tonight will be better....I promise

Time and Tide wait for None

Im terribly poor at "Time Management".
Believe me, I have missed.. not one, not two but THREE dental appoinments because I didn't manage my time properly. I booked an appointment as I had sensitive teeth. I keep giving excuses....as to why Im cancelling it. But, there is only ONE reason....yes.. I didn't manage my time. So, I cancelled them at the last moment.
Its always easy to cancel an appointment than to say "Im sorry, Im late.".
Last straw is receiving a letter from my dentist pointing out, that I have missed 3 appointments and 24 hour policy for cancelling appointments. It was truly embarassing. If I don't change now, I will take this habit to all my kid's important occassions. Worst fear is my kid would grow up with same terrible "Time Sense".
My partner keeps reminding me how I need to "plan" ahead to have some time sense. Its time for me to respect his words and his "Time Sense". Afterall, if I am late, he is late too... :-( Its like Im dragging my family down with me. :-(

I've decided to put my heart into it sincerely as Im wasting time & energy feeling guilty about not being "on-time".

Five things to get my Time management skills honed.

1. Wake up at 5:00am EVERY SINGLE DAY. Its the hardest part. But, its the ONLY way to have more time at hand and to keep me on right track.
2. Calculate how much time each task takes and have log for it.
3. List daily to-dos and prioritize the night before for each day.
4. Plan weekly menu and stick with it. Reserve impromptu meals for fridays and weekends.
5. Remember to Enjoy every single thing you do!

So, here is the second experiment for the next 30 days: Waking up at 5:00am each day.
There are many favorite blogs that I keep reading and re-reading to draw motivation.

I truly believe becoming an early riser would help me with "Time Management"

So here is my next challenge: Waking up at 5:00am for the next 30 days. ie until May 9th, 2009. Will be blogging more about this in the future posts.

Wish me Luck!

Day 16

The books I put on hold 3 mo back, were sent back to its original library. :-(
One was about body language, two of them were parenting books. Hurrriedly finished the other book I was reading, to get my hands these long awaited ones...so, I was a bit disappointed. Now, I may have to wait another month or so :-(

Last night was uneventful. Did some officework and some prep work for the next day. Slowly, Im getting the hang of it. Im truly glad to blog my experiences as it helps me stay on track.

Day 15

My brother and sis-in-law came over for a chat. It went on till 10:30pm. Its always nice to have them close by. Went to bed after that.

I have an interesting book waiting for me to pick up from the library. I put a hold on it almost 3 months ago. Hoping to get to read it tonight :-) and fold rest of the laundry that I did last night.

Its been two weeks now, since I started this challenge. It feels as though Im getting used it.

There are lot of changes happening around me:
Have more time to sleep at night, which is really great.
Closet is a bit more organized.
Kitchen counter is clean "almost" always.
Cooking fresh food, packing healthy lunches and snacks for my kid, my partner and myself. I also make sure, everyone empties it.
Eating healthy breakfast EVERY day which is very very rare.... :-(
We eat dinner together on weekdays by 7:30pm. Weekends we have almost all meals together as a family and on time.
Reading a lot of books from my list.
Spending more time with my kid.

Here are the things I would like to do/improve:
1. Offer prayers and prasad every day.
2. Be more "TIME" sensible; Be punctual.
3. Bring Excercise into the routine.
4. Create family breakfast routine even on weekdays.
5. Create fun activities for my kid.

Day 9,10,11,12,13 & 14

Last week has been crazy mainly bc, my kid was sick. Tending a sick kid, office work, cooking and household chores took up most of the time.
Day 13 - Watched a movie with my partner, which I don't regret doing.
Day 14 - Absolutely no TV.

Im hoping this week to be a more productive week.

Day 8

I watched TV for about an hour. Lesson learned and just want to move on. it doesn't have to take me back to square 1 again.
Although, I have to admit, I did not feel obligated to sit tight and watch more as I could've. I turned it off and went upstairs to sleep.

Day 6&7

So far no TV.... Mainly bc, my kid is down with a stomach flu. This is her first stomach flu. Its very hard to see her so down. Being a trooper, she is fighting the infection with all her might.

Mukhunda Mukhunda Krishna Mukhunda Mukhunda...
Varam tha Varam tha Brinda vanam tha van tha....is what cheering her up.

What really wells me up, she hasn't complained ONCE through this entire episode. She is truly very patient and brave. :-)

She never ceases to amaze me and teach me along the way..:-) Thank you my darling. I hope and pray you get better soon.

Day 5

Now I can say, Im making progress. Friday night never, I mean NEVER, goes by without TV. We went out for weekly shopping. Usually that gets done on tuesdays one the way Home. Thanks to my boss, I had to skip this week for an urgent issue.
This morning I woke up at my usual time with a very clear mind. I couldn't help but watch my kid cuddled up against me for a few minutes. With warm bodies on my either side in deep slumber, I laid there for few more minutes... Then got up..... made a cup of tea. Every sip was absolutely divine. Everything was still and quite... with a smell of fresh spring air, with birds chirping and no cars rushing by in weekday madness. It is definitely worth doing it.

To add icing on the cake, I've lost 6 lbs this past two weeks. All that extra time on making fresh lunches and breakfasts are paying off. I've also been eating sensibly lately. I still indulge in cuppa chai every morning. Im not very disciplined with my eating habits yet. Its just that I haven't skipped a meal this past week and I haven't had anything after 8:30pm. I want to add excercise in my routine with all that extra time. (yes.. I keep saying that very often... bc I have a list.)

More soon...

Day 4

For minute, I was tempted to turn TV on. Or maybe it was out of habit. To my knowledge that is the ONLY way I have ever spent time to tune out or relax or whatever.
Last night, my partner did the dishes while I helped my kid out of day clothes, wash up, read few books and off to bed. I went to bed early too :-)

The real challenge is ahead: weekend. That is when I watch movies, Back to back reruns of CSI, Monk, Law&Order.

Being Punctual...

.... is unknown to me.. :-(

I find myself at work at 10:00am every morning. Its an hour late by standards. But, my workplace does allow 10-4 mandatory presence and to show 8 hrs working hours. I usually work 10-6. I think its Ok to come at 10. In reality, its a cat race. Im ALWAYS rushing... EVERYwhere...
I find myself atleast 5-50 min late to every doctors appoinment, meetings, parties. It gives a very bad impression. First few minutes are embarassing as apologizing takes up most of my time as opposed spending time on introducing myself. :-((
It drives my partner crazy. :-( My partner would lecture about how embarassing it will be to turn up late for your OWN party.!!
One the way to *appointment*, I replay millions of reasons in my head for being late. **Office call; My kid threw up( yes, I've said that before... I know, Im pathetic!); My kid threw a fit; Oh, I didn't realise it was 5( though you knew, like they would buy it); Horrible accident on the way; Too much traffic;**
I have breakfast in the car; Brush my hair in the car; I rush in the traffic; Take risk when the signal turns amber; Not exactly stop at *stop* sign; Not safe. Why? To make up for the lost minute. It takes fun out of everything. Why do I put myself through this torture? Its draining me out. Want to break this habit so badly and put some thought into planning.

Will be posting more about this in the coming weeks. I don't want to make drastic changes in my routine too soon. Im afraid it might spoil the flow. Ban on TV is a BIG one as it is. But, Im going to take baby steps with the morning routine. Maybe do some prep work at night with that extra time I have. ;-)

Certainly a good one to try...

Day 3

Its been three days in row that I have put dinner on the table in record time. Finished dinner by 8:00pm. Got my kid off for a wash up and change into PJs. Did the dishes in the meantime. Warm milk by 8:30pm and in bed by 9:00pm. That is not too bad. :-) I had LOT of time to watch TV. But, was too sleepy to watch TV. Happily snoring by 10:00pm.

I have to admit. Was actually tempted to ask my partner to whip up something for dinner and just let myself indulge in some TV. I truly didn't want to get back into that vicious circle and besides April 22nd is a good target. I have tried to quit TV many times before. But no avail. This is a new approach. Im hoping this would work.

But, this also means, I have to give up movies altogether during weekend. Weather is getting better so gonna plan trekking or hiking.

NO TV for 30 days - Day 2

Have you heard of addiction to TV. Yes, you heard it right... mind-numbing, time-killing Television addiction. I do that from 9:30pm to 12:00am... sometimes, till 1:00am.
Here are the reasons I watch TV:
1. I need a break after a long day at work, day-to-day chores and chaos. I think, I deserve it.
2. Its easy to tune out the world when you watch, Monk, CSI, Law&Order, Dr.House, Everybody Loves Raymond, Friends... even *Matlock* (I know, Im pathetic.)
3. You get to solve crimes, doctor, laugh, bicker, criticize, cry, judge somebody but you for a change.. etc You get be somebody else. Its easy to get away.
4. Lazy: Its easy to flip channels than to plan for the future or your kids' future or even cleanup your home.
5. I just cannot stay AWAY from it.

So, here I am trying to NOT watch TV for 30 days, until April 22nd. Yesterday was Day - 2. I retired to bed early.

I have plans for tonight. Lets see how that goes....

Things that fear me the most...

..
1. My kid grows up to be a irresponsible and unorganized human being
2. That I would grow old very unhealthy, vulnerable, sick and irritating self-absorbed person.
3. That I would forget how confident and intelligent I once was.
4. That I would become depressed and as a result would burden/influence otherwise easy-going, happy partner.

If I don't rectify myself now, Im really worried that all these things I fear would come true.

NO TV for 30 days - Day 1

I have imposed myself a ban on TV watching for 30 days and spend that extra time on the need-to-be-done list. I tend to turn it on at 9:30pm when my kid goes to bed.
I have two good books waiting to be read for the past month.
Will blog more about the withdrawal symptoms and how I'll be able to overcome that.

Updated to add:
Isn't first day always the easiest. Picked up a good book from the library. All set for the first day of TV ban. Didn't even go past the first page. I slept like a baby. Maybe sleep is all I wanted. Lets see how Day 2 goes.

Where do I begin?

If I am not needed, then why am I even here?!?
Why do I feel lonely even when Im surrounded by family. Why do I take pleasure in hurting the only person who has anything for me? Why do I feel like crap having done that?
Why do I think, Im not doing my best as a parent? Even when I do my best, why am I scared that my kid will also turn out to be as screwed up as me?
Why do I get very defensive the minute Im questioned.... I have so many questions.....

When I was growing up, I always wanted my life to be very simple. If anything, it is more complex than I imagined.

My mind is cluttered.. Space around me is cluttered... Where do I begin? I don't know.

God, please, help me clear things up!!