Where do I begin?

If I am not needed, then why am I even here?!?
Why do I feel lonely even when Im surrounded by family. Why do I take pleasure in hurting the only person who has anything for me? Why do I feel like crap having done that?
Why do I think, Im not doing my best as a parent? Even when I do my best, why am I scared that my kid will also turn out to be as screwed up as me?
Why do I get very defensive the minute Im questioned.... I have so many questions.....

When I was growing up, I always wanted my life to be very simple. If anything, it is more complex than I imagined.

My mind is cluttered.. Space around me is cluttered... Where do I begin? I don't know.

God, please, help me clear things up!!